Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
