I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
