Your tits are I can't wait for
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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