Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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