So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize