He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
