She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
