dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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