Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
