We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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