Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
