Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize