they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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