Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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