so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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