can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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