We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
