were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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