She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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