my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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