Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
