he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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