i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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