you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
