Already got asked if we're dating
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
