Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
how does that bad decision feel?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
