I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
