he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
do herpes really smell.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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