What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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