I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
