Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
