so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
