Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
