you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
