can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
