It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
