how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
