My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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