I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
