is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
