Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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