why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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