dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dicks are not precious.
I supernannyed him into submission
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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