You can't motorboat a personality
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I have vodka in my lungs
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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