His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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