This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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