All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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