Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
