Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am one with the molecules
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
