i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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