maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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