There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
