Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
