Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize