I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You took a bar mat shot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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