But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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