YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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