Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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